I'd like to extend a big thank you to Thorek Memorial Hospital for not salting or shoveling its sidewalk. Coming home from Alex's party last night, I slipped and hit my face on the concrete. I'm still trying to figure out how that was possible. Perhaps that last game of flip cup wasn't such a good idea after all. Luckily, the Natural Light swirling around in my brain softened the blow. I'm just pissed because my hand caught part of the impact and has temporarily rendered my thumb slightly less opposable. It's put a bit of a damper on the morning. Big Ern ANGRY!!! Rawrrr!!
Now it's taking all of my better judgment to not call some scumbag personal injury lawyer. I keep hearing this little voice in the back of my head:
"Call....Lee...free.....call...Lee...free....."
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Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?
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