Thursday, December 11, 2008

Bring Back Cocaine Wayne

So today downtown Chicago was invaded by some of the most annoying creatures known to man--yes that's right, Bears fans. My first thought was, is the Insane Clown Posse back in town again already? But then I remembered that the Bears are hosting the Saints tonight. I actually helped a couple of Bears fans with directions (sorry Kush, I should've sent them to Cabrini-Green for you). But in all honesty, no other NFL fans feel more entitled to great teams year after year as those of the Chicago Bears--the Super Bowl Shuffle was a quarter century ago, it's time to move on.

If anybody is entitled to anything, it's Lions fans. Endure 51 years with one playoff win, an 0-13 record and eight years of "Cocaine" Wayne Fontes at the helm and then come talk to me.

Seriously, he looks like he should be running a pizzeria; certainly not an NFL franchise.

A few other downtown observations:

I was walking down the Mag Mile and noticed this old man riding around in an Amigo and coming up behind people honking an air horn at them to get out of his way. Highly obnoxious, mildy entertaining.

There was also a homeless man who asked this woman walking in front of me for change. She politely declined and as soon as she turned her back, he started making obscene gestures at her with his tongue. Nice. I'm convinced that women underestimate how truly disgusting men actually are.

And memo to people who wear fur coats: you look ridiculous. Especially women with those round looking fur hats--Genghis Khan called and he wants them back. Seriously, it looks like you have a skunk wrapped around your head.


Anonymous said...

Wayne said the cocaine was his kid's...

Scott Kushner said...

Fidel Goodell always makes it a point that the Saints play Chicago in the last month of the season. Probably because the weather is so pleasant for our tropical climate and Superdome adjusted soft ass team.

Any way, instead of giving those Bears fans directions, you should have asked them how their boogers taste.

Like Shaq asking Kobe how is ass tastes.

Big Ernie McCracken said...

Hahaha, blamed his kid. Nice. What a dad. I also love that the Lions promoted him to head coach right after his cocaine bust.

Look on the bright side of things Kush, you've got Detroit next week.

Megan said...

I have been very disappointed by the lack of posts on the blog. What else am I supposed to be doing over christmas break?? tsk tsk.