So today I went downtown to pick up a couple books and ended up getting interviewed by Fox News. They asked me what I was 'most thankful for.' I immediately narrowed it down to guns, the Lord and FREEDOM FROM MUSLIM TERRORIST KILLERS!!!! RAWRRR! COUNTRY FIRST! But, I ended up going with pumpkin pie.
Getting back to Dan, it's about 2 a.m. and at this point he has gotten shot down by the girl eating with her family, tried breaking into a PT Cruiser and has disappeared into my grandparents 55 and older community.
About 45 minutes later, I get a call from him and he has no idea where he is. I do my best to give him directions to my grandparents house, despite the fact he's speaking mindless garble and is about as sloppy as sloppy gets. Thirty minutes after that, he barges through the front door carrying a toy pistol, an American flag and a plastic flamingo lawn ornament.
Yes that's right: a toy pistol, an American flag and a plastic flamingo lawn ornament.
Dan (while holding the toy pistol up to the flamingo's head): Nobody move or the penguin gets it!